Hmm

Sorry for the bad post early in the morning. Just want to take this bad feeling out of my system and want to start with my work. What to do if the close ones (ur mom) hurt u? I have been trying my best to make the ppl (my family esp) around me feel happy but they are hurting me soo easily. I am not able to digest that fact. how can u hurt someone who lives for u, do things for u, adjust with u etc etc. I really dont know.

Whenever she hurts me, I used to shout back if there is no mistake on my side. Or keep mum and get the scoldings if the mistake is mine. Nowadays, I am trying to control my temper (me basically a short tempered person) and am trying to be quiet if she hurts me. She is taking that as an advantage or probably she thinks that she is right and hurting me with her words :( I dont want to argue with her and validate my point and end up in crying only. Its ok if I am at home. If it happens in the week days, esp when I start to office, its affecting my work (and the whole day). I am going down (this is one of the reasons for this post) and I hate that.

I dont know wat to do. I tried talking to her to know the exact problem but in vain. I tend to get (even) hurt if the other person is happy. Generally I dont want anyone getting hurt cos of me. I want to make everyone around me happy and inturn feel happy. But how can one be so kind all the time? How can I adjust all the time when the other person is not co-operating? Even I want to live peacefully like any other person in the world.

Its not like happened once or twice and me exagerating stuff and posting this. I am not that dumb as someone who does not understand the parents value or their feelings towards kids blah blah. I understand all these things and Ah ennamo. Me reached the peak of sad feelings today morning and office'ku auto'la varappa thaana kanla thani vanthudthu :'( Tried to start my work but couldnt. thought i would write here.

I want to turn the comments off for this post as no one can undertand this feeling unless u experience this...but then its ok..

anyway...let me sit tight, take a deep breath and proceed this day. One's personal stuff should not affect their work. I just want to keep this stupid sad feelings aside and enjoy my work. Its ok to get back to that sad feeling after my work hrs.

Ah, somebody teach me how to compartmentalize the mind.

Update: Forgot to mention this; people are taking me for granted :'(